Farrukh Kazmi Shared (Story)-The power of determination

Farrukh Kazmi: The little country schoolhouse was heated by an old-fashioned, pot-bellied coal stove. A little boy had the job of coming to school early each day to start the fire and warm the room before his teacher and his classmates arrived.

One morning they arrived to find the schoolhouse engulfed in flames. They dragged the unconscious little boy out of the flaming building more dead than alive. He had major burns over the lower half of his body and was taken to a nearby county hospital.From his bed the dreadfully burned, semi-conscious little boy faintly heard the doctor talking to his mother. The doctor told his mother that her son would surely die – which was for the best, really – for the terrible fire had devastated the lower half of his body.(Farrukh Kazmi)

But the brave boy didn’t want to die. He made up his mind that he would survive. Somehow, to the amazement of the physician, he did survive. When the mortal danger was past, he again heard the doctor and his mother speaking quietly. The mother was told that since the fire had destroyed so much flesh in the lower part of his body, it would almost be better if he had died, since he was doomed to be a lifetime cripple with no use at all of his lower limbs.

Once more the brave boy made up his mind. He would not be a cripple. He would walk. But unfortunately from the waist down, he had no motor ability. His thin legs just dangled there, all but lifeless.

Ultimately he was released from the hospital. Every day his mother would massage his little legs, but there was no feeling, no control, nothing. Yet his determination that he would walk was as strong as ever.(Farrukh Kazmi)

When he wasn’t in bed, he was confined to a wheelchair. One sunny day his mother wheeled him out into the yard to get some fresh air. This day, instead of sitting there, he threw himself from the chair. He pulled himself across the grass, dragging his legs behind him.

He worked his way to the white picket fence bordering their lot. With great effort, he raised himself up on the fence. Then, stake by stake, he began dragging himself along the fence, resolved that he would walk. He started to do this every day until he wore a smooth path all around the yard beside the fence. There was nothing he wanted more than to develop life in those legs.

Ultimately through his daily massages, his iron persistence and his resolute determination, he did develop the ability to stand up, then to walk haltingly, then to walk by himself – and then – to run.

He began to walk to school, then to run to school, to run for the sheer joy of running. Later in college he made the track team.read more(Farrukh Kazmi)

Farrukh Kazmi Shared (Story)-The Cookie Thief

Farrukh Kazmi : A woman was waiting at an airport one night, with several long hours before her flight. She hunted for a book in the airport shops, bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop.

She was engrossed in her book but happened to see, that the man sitting beside her, as bold as could be. . .grabbed a cookie or two from the bag in between, which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene. (Farrukh Kazmi)

So she munched the cookies and watched the clock, as the gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock. She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by, thinking, “If I wasn’t so nice, I would blacken his eye.”With each cookie she took, he took one too, when only one was left, she wondered what he would do. With a smile on his face, and a nervous laugh, he took the last cookie and broke it in half.

He offered her half, as he ate the other, she snatched it from him and thought… oooh, brother. This guy has some nerve and he’s also rude, why he didn’t even show any gratitude!

She had never known when she had been so galled, and sighed with relief when her flight was called. She gathered her belongings and headed to the gate, refusing to look back at the thieving ingrate. (Farrukh Kazmi)

She boarded the plane, and sank in her seat, then she sought her book, which was almost complete. As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise, there was her bag of cookies, in front of her eyes.

If mine are here, she moaned in despair, the others were his, and he tried to share. Too late to apologize, she realized with grief, that she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief.read more(Farrukh Kazmi)

Farrukh Kazmi Shared (Story)-Farmer’s Well & Witty Birbal

Farrukh Kazmi: Once a man sold his well to a farmer. Next day when a farmer went to draw the water from that well, the man did not allow him to draw the water from it. He said, “I have sold you the well, not the water, so you cannot draw the water from the well.”

The farmer became very sad and came to the Emperor’s court. He described everything to the Emperor and asked for the justice.

The Emperor called Birbal and handed over this case to him. Birbal called the man who sold the well to the farmer. Birbal asked, “Why don’t you let him use the water of the well. You have sold the well to the farmer.” The man replied, “Birbal, I have sold the well to the farmer, not the water. He has no right to draw the water from the well.”( Farrukh Kazmi )

Then Birbal smiled and said to him, “Good, but look, since you have sold the well to this farmer, and you claim that water is yours, then you have no right to keep your water in the farmer’s well. Either you pay rent to the farmer to keep your water in his well, or you take that out of his well immediately.”

The man understood, that his trick has failed. Birbal has outwitted him.

Moral: Don’t Try to Cheat. You will end up paying for it regardless of how smart you think you are.read more ( Farrukh Kazmi )

Farrukh Kazmi Shared (Story)-It wasn’t just me — a journey from hopeless to hopeful

Farrukh Kazmi: As the lights dim in the room, a DJ spins minimal electronic beats as dancers whirl across the floor, some awkwardly, others with abandon.

The mood is relaxed, but the mission is purposeful — the dancers are volunteers-in-training at Over The Rainbow, a non-profit that promotes mental health and wellness.

The music workshop is one of several that the volunteers are taking part in, to experience various ways of caring for one’s mental health, and to eventually assist in facilitating such workshops.

Observing the session is founder Chow Yen-Lu, who started Over The Rainbow with his wife Yee Ling after the couple lost their son, who had manic depression, to suicide in 2009. (Farrukh Kazmi)

As they worked through the pain and grief of losing Lawrance, their only child, the couple felt the need to do something.

“My wife and I were talking, you know, he cannot be the only one that’s suffering,” said Yen-Lu. “We’re not mental health professionals, but where can we add value, how can we help?”

In 2012, they formed Over The Rainbow to provide free mental wellness resources to youth — from informational articles, to workshops on creative and spiritual therapies, to support groups.

The goal? A safe space that empowers individuals with tools to care for their mental health.

“I knew from our personal experience, that looking at prevention, self-care, taking ownership, that’s the only thing that would be sustainable,” says Yen-Lu. “Mental wellness is this thing that will keep you going for the rest of your life.”

Among the volunteers participating in the training is Lim Yan Ling, who crossed paths with Over The Rainbow in 2018, while searching for ways to help her process her mental health journey.

“I felt so fearful”

For Yan Ling, it started with a few things: admonishment from a teacher in primary school to speak louder; criticism about her weight from her mother.

Then her schoolmates started to tease and hit her, calling her a “daddy’s girl” when she told her father, who spoke to her teachers about the bullying. (Farrukh Kazmi)

By the time she was 12, Yan Ling was considering taking her life. “I didn’t know how to, so I started hurting myself first, hitting my head on the wall, against the toilet bowl,” she says.

At 14 years old, she was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, more commonly referred to as depression. She felt isolated from friends, who did not understand what she was going through.

In Singapore, depression is the most common mental disorder, affecting one in 16 people at some point in their lives.

The causes of this common-yet-complex condition are not yet well understood, but current research points to depression being caused by a mix of social, psychological and biological factors.

In addition to depression, Yan Ling was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, which affects how a person feels and thinks about herself, and can cause intense episodes of anger, depression and anxiety.

After being diagnosed, Yan Ling saw a counsellor and received psychotherapy from a psychologist and a psychiatrist. She was also admitted into the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) several times after harming herself.

“I felt so, so fearful. I remember stepping into the school every morning and just feeling complete dread. My whole body would tense up,” recalls Yan Ling, now 21. “I was very suicidal and I was very, very violent.”read more(Farrukh Kazmi)

Farrukh Kazmi Shared (Story)-Grandpa’s Table

Farrukh Kazmi: A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in- law, and four-year-old grandson. The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather’ s shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped, the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in- law became irritated with the mess. “We must do something about Grandfather, ” said the son. “I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.” So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. When the family glanced in Grandfather’ s direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food. The four-year-old watched it all in silence. (Farrukh Kazmi)

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, “What are you making?” Just as sweetly, the boy responded, “Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up.” The four-year-old smiled and went back to work. The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather’ s hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days, he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled. (Farrukh Kazmi)

Moral: Children are remarkably perceptive. Their eyes ever observe, their ears ever listen, and their minds ever process the messages they absorb. If they see us patiently provide a happy home atmosphere for family members, they will imitate that attitude for the rest of their lives. The wise parent realizes that every day the building blocks are being laid for the child’s future. Let’s be wise builders and role models. Because Children are our future. Life is about people connecting with people, and making a positive difference. Take care of yourself and those you love, today and everyday! read more(Farrukh Kazmi)

Farrukh Kazmi Shared (Story)-How long can you keep hatred in your heart?

Farrukh Kazmi: A kindergarten teacher had decided to let her class play a game. The teacher told each child in the class to bring along a plastic bag containing a few potatoes. Each potato will be given a name of a person that the child hates. So the number of potatoes that a child will put in his/her plastic bag will depend on the number of people he/she hates.

So when the day came, every child brought some potatoes with the name of the people he/she hated. Some had 2 potatoes, some 3 while some up to 5 potatoes. The teacher then told the children to carry the potatoes in the plastic bag with them wherever they go for 1 week. Days after days passed, and the children started to complain due to the unpleasant smell let out by the rotten potatoes. Besides, those having 5 potatoes also had to carry heavier bags. After 1 week, the children were relieved because the game had finally ended.( Farrukh Kazmi )

The teacher asked: “How did you feel while carrying the potatoes with you for 1 week?” The children let out their frustrations and started complaining of the trouble that they had to go through having to carry the heavy and smelly potatoes wherever they go.

Then the teacher told them the hidden meaning behind the game. The teacher said: “This is exactly the situation when you carry your hatred for somebody ( Farrukh Kazmi ) inside your heart. The stench of hatred will contaminate your heart and you will carry it with you wherever you go. If you cannot tolerate the smell of rotten potatoes for just 1 week, can you imagine what is it like to have the stench of hatred in your heart for your lifetime?”

Moral: Throw away any hatred for anyone from your heart so that you will not carry burden for a lifetime. Forgiving others is the best attitude to take. Negativity about someone will keep peace of your mind away from you. Remember the good things about him/her, and let go of the hatred.read more( Farrukh Kazmi )

Farrukh Kazmi Shared (Story)-Control Your Temper

Farrukh Kazmi: There once was a little boy who had a very bad temper. His father decided to hand him a bag of nails and said that every time the boy lost his temper, he had to hammer a nail into the fence.

On the first day, the boy hammered 37 nails into that fence.

The boy gradually began to control his temper over the next few weeks, and the number of nails he was hammering into the fence slowly decreased.

He discovered it was easier to control his temper than to hammer those nails into the fence.( Farrukh Kazmi )

Finally, the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father the news and the father suggested that the boy should now pull out a nail every day he kept his temper under control.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.

“you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence ( Farrukh Kazmi ) will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.”

Moral of the story:
Control your anger, and don’t say things to people in the heat of the moment, that you may later regret. Some things in life, you are unable to take back.read more( Farrukh Kazmi )

Farrukh Kazmi Shared (Story)-You are not going to get anything handed to you

Farrukh Kazmi: “It was an incredibly hot day and a lion was feeling very hungry.

He crawled out of his den and searched here and there, but he could only find a small hare. He caught the hare, but with some hesitation as he knew the hare wouldn’t fill him up.( Farrukh Kazmi )

As the lion was about to kill the hare, he spotted a deer coming his way and thought, ‘Instead of eating this small hare, let me eat that big deer.’

So he let the hare go and went after the deer, but it vanished in the forest. The lion now had nothing to eat as the hare was also long gone.”read more ( Farrukh Kazmi )

Farrukh Kazmi Shared (Story)-Think outside of the box

Farrukh Kazmi: “In a small Italian town, hundreds of years ago, a small business owner owed a large sum of money to a loan-shark. The loan-shark was a very old, unattractive looking guy that just so happened to fancy the business owner’s daughter.

He decided to offer the businessman a deal that would completely wipe out the debt he owed him. However, the catch was that we would only wipe out the debt if he could marry the businessman’s daughter. Needless to say, this proposal was met with a look of disgust.

The loan-shark said that he would place two pebbles into a bag, one white and one black.

The daughter would then have to reach into the bag and pick out a pebble. If it was black, the debt would be wiped, but the loan-shark would then marry her. If it was white, the debt would also be wiped, but the daughter wouldn’t have to marry the loan-shark.( Farrukh Kazmi )

Standing on a pebble-strewn path in the businessman’s garden, the loan-shark bent over and picked up two pebbles. Whilst he was picking them up, the daughter noticed that he’d picked up two black pebbles  and placed them both into the bag.

He then asked the daughter to reach into the bag and pick one.

The daughter naturally had three choices as to what she could have done:

  1. Refuse to pick a pebble from the bag.
  2. Take both pebbles out of the bag and expose the loan-shark for cheating.
  3. Pick a pebble from the bag fully well knowing it was black and sacrifice herself for her father’s freedom.

She drew out a pebble from the bag, and before looking at it ‘accidentally’ dropped it into the midst of the other pebbles. She said to the loan-shark;

‘Oh, how clumsy of me. Never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked.’

The pebble left in the bag is obviously black, and seeing as the loan-shark didn’t want to be exposed, he had to play along as if the pebble the daughter dropped was white, and clear her father’s debt.”read more ( Farrukh Kazmi )

Farrukh Kazmi Shared (Story)-THE SEASONS OF LIFE

Farrukh Kazmi: There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn to not judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.

The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall.

When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.( Farrukh Kazmi )

The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted.

The second son said no – it was covered with green buds and full of promise.

The third son disagreed, he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.

The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfilment.( Farrukh Kazmi )

The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but one season in the tree’s life.

He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are – and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life – can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.

If you give up when it’s winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfilment of your fall.

Don’t judge a life by one difficult season. Don’t let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.read more ( Farrukh Kazmi )

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